It’s that time of the year again where I have to get dressed up and make a twat of myself. The hardest thing this year was choosing my helpers so I decided to use Marianne, I hope you approve. If she’s any good at unwrapping my present and smoking my cigar I may keep her on into January and share her with all the lucky guys who are visiting us in the New Year, except Pete the Fireman, he’s just a greedy bastard, every chica I set my eyes on he fucking wants her, I hope he realises that the customer is not always right in this business?? Anyway back to my new little helper Marianne I have some surprise party tricks in store for her this year, blue pills, pink plastic and crates of beer all come to mind in a flash.

Then again they came to mind last year too  but I think I had a few too many out of the crate and never got to use the pink plastic, though you must agree that the blue pills did help me keep my hat on? As always I never let a bottle slip.

Well me and Perry are mates again, he has given Jennifer the house till she gets sorted so I have forgiven him. What do we think of Tiger Woods then?? The dirty bastard, fancy doing the dirty on his wife like that. I mean I could understand it if she was ugly but fuck me have you seen her? Get your wallet out Tiger this is gonna cost you my friend. Talking of doing the dirty, what about my latest fantasy Erica? Now I can put hand on heart and say I have never had my cock in the payroll, but who would blame me for breaking my duck with Erica? I am speechless, I see a race between me and firefighter Pete to get there first in January. If this is the standard we are setting for 2010 then I see happy days ahead. I am just glad she isn’t called Jennifer, or Ana come to that. I aim to use 1 tit for my ash tray and the other for my beer, not a drop will be spilt I am sure. I will make sure I leave some feed back and let you all drool with envy when you read my report.

January is getting fully booked guys and girls so if you are after a after Christmas break then be sure to check up quickly for your adult vacation or you will be dissapointed. If you fancy the same type of thing somewhere else why not try  travelling to Thailand with my friends at Bachelor Holidays, they guarantee to take care of all our customers, book via us and you will be entitled to a bonus deal. I actually fancy a bit of that myself, I have always liked Thailand. The problem is working out who has bollocks and who hasn’t.

You Bastard Perry.

He’s asked for the ring back, the tight bastard. What kind of man would do that? It only cost him $69 and he wants it back. I always new he was a bit shifty when it came to putting his hands in his pocket, but asking for the ring back has even shocked me. Worse to come is that he hasn’t asked her face to face, he sent her a text. Anyway it’s off and that’s all there is to it. I don’t know what he will do now, there can’t be many blind birds left can there? Anyway at least he is being a true man to the end because he told me that he’s letting her stay in the house, hat’s off to him for that.

I didn’t expect it to last. I have known him too long now. Just passed the lamp post and here’s what I find, Perry was kidding all along. It’s the oldest trick in the book isn’t it? Proposing to a young bird just to get in her knickers. You dirty old twat Perry, shame on you. Taking advantage of a nice young lady and then dropping her like this. Well I suppose if it’s off you will be looking for somewhere to have a break, I have just the place for you here in Boca Chica. No thieving taxi drivers to worry about either, so I will look up some dates and contact you via the normal channels.

Well I can’t understand what the fuck is going on now, he must of lost his marbles. It certainly isn’t the Perry that I used to know. I mean asking for her hand in marriage, he must be on the drugs again, that’s all I can think of. I mean after 6 marriages, 3 divorces and 17 kids what can he be thinking about? Perry you need help mate, drop me a email and we can talk about this. Someone needs to talk sense to you and quickly, I have visions of you ending up on the fucking Oprah show, and that’s about as low as it gets. I just hope that either she’s worth it my friend or you come to your senses very quickly. Before I forget, if you want to know of a good stag night location, we are still here for you in your hour of need and desperation.

Well it seems like we have lost one of our best guests, Perry it appears as at last fallen in love with a nice young lady called Jennifer.

Now I don’t know Jennifer but I am sure she will be the homely kind and will keep Perry warn in the winter evenings that are on their way. As opposites attract I suspect she is a small petite, kind and considerate person, with a sense of humour, well she must have a sense of humour to be with Perry musn’t she?  I must admit though that I am suprised he as gone public and showed his affection with a nice sign. I am very impressed that he spelt her name correctly too, this is a big improvement on the Perry that I once knew. Well all I can say my friend is good luck in your new love venture, everyone here at the resort wishes you all the best for the future.

Just messing around a little at the moment. As I am in the D.R. I have some time on my hands so I am trying to fix my blog, I have been unable to add images for a while now, hence no pics of any kind.

Hopefully I have sorted it now. Well now I know that it works after checking the page. Happy days then, get ready for a bombardment of abuse, wit and hopefully some good old images to keep us all happy. If there are any requests just let me know via the normal route. I will try and do some more later, just nipping out for a quick beer at the bar and sort a guest out.

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I am sitting and waiting for all my old buddies to email me now and start booking for early 2010 now that you all know that we will be at the resort, steering the ship, catching up with old times will be great and to be honest I am looking forward to running things for a while. I have missed the daily interaction with the guys. Ana is in the DR at the moment just finalising a few things to make the trip go smoothly for me, she knows what I am like if the beers aren’t cold when I get there.

I am also trying to put a golf competition together, so get your sticks out guys and hit me with some dates, I was looking at the end of January or beginning of February for the golf. I can think of worse trips, Sun, Beers, Golf and Pussy. For me just the sun and the golf, unless I can get away from Ana, which is usually impossible. See you all in the New Year.

Changes come upon us in many different ways. Mine changed this week when it was decided that the best way to get the business back on track was for myself and Ana to go out and run it. So all you guys who have booked a Adult Vacation from now until the end of next year you will have to contend with me and the missus. Many old guests will probably be releived to hear this as I am often getting emails asking when we will get to meet up again. For those who have yet to meet me, may I suggest you get some drinking practice in. My beer swilling habits haven’t changed and I expect to be on top form. It is very unfortunate that we couldn’t keep the place running without actually being there, but shit happens sometimes. I myself will have to be content with basking in the sun all day and drinking all night, I guess things could be worse.