Friday again, what a week. But at least i’m not divorced yet. Can’t beleive how many of you have left comments about Franks driving. Shit I must be talking about a different guy to you lot. Paul I think Franks a good driver, yeah right. This is supposed to be a adult vacation, not the Paris to dakar rally. Anyway guys, thanks for the comments, I may publish them for you, when I get to know how this programme works. At the moment I don’t have a clue.
Met Gloria today the Film producer who is making the documentary about us. Another film, I will be signing autographs soon. Hope it turns out like the Playboy Film did. I can just imagine Nadger floundering along the beach with Bob chasing him, both in little G strings. Now that is a thought. No doubt my Mother will see it in the UK, channel 4, 9pm and there we are in all our glory, she won’t be able to go to the bingo for a month in case all the old biddies have a go at here. Hey Betty, ‘you never told us that your Paul was a pimp’? ‘Shut up you stupid cow’, didn’t you read the report in the Sunday newspaper in 2005? Sod em, who gives a toss anyway. Don’t get many of my guests compaining, can you imagine someone like Perry saying, ‘excuse me Paul but that girl isn’t sucking correctly, or the Frozen one telling me his pillows too hard. Sorry guys, try going to Disneyworld next year, cost you twice as much and nothing to show for it. had a guy here from canada last year, he would make a nice Mickey Mouse, yes John I mean you. And don’t mail me with a complaint because you aren’t welcome back here anyway, we don’t allow tossers back. ok?

It’s pissed it down for 2 days now, according to the official met figures, we get 340 days of sunshine every year. It actually shows you the last 5 years, all range from 340 to 345 days of sunshine, my parents have been here since Monday and it hasn’t stopped raining yet. I am thinking of telling them to leave, serious, I can’t be doing with bad weather. What’s the point of living here if it pisses with rain every day? May as well live in Seattle, I think that’s where they get a lot of rain, I may be wrong, but it sounds like a wet place anyway, with the sea in it, you know what I mean? At least it keeps me indoors and out of trouble. I have started a human edited directory, I thought it would give me something to do and keep me in toucj with whats happening in the world. Shit, big mistake, hey this is like work, really. It’s a full time job keeping it updated. Why would someone do this for free? I must be losing it in my old age.

Back to the resort, everyone went to the beach today, everyone got piss wet through and everyone came back soaked.   Why go to the beach when you know its going to rain? They only do that in Blackpool, not here. Takes all kinds I suppose. Maybe Richard the French Guy was the instigator. That wouldn’t suprise me. Him or Frank.

Tuesdays are usually crap here on the Island. Nothing going off through the day, and not a lot at night. The Island’s a little quiter at the moment as most of the National tourists left at the weekend.

The adult vacation forum has had the new design and looks great, if I say so myself. It’s getting really popular now, over 4100 members since August 2005 and getting about 15 new members a day at the moment. A big thanks to krakjoe from the reseller hosting company in the UK for helping me get the design right. Joe’s a great guy and always around to lend a hand. The new website will have the new design next week, so keep your eyes out for it.

New chicas are at the resort and we are in full swing. Steve the Scotsman left today and say’s he will be back soon, with a few friends in tow he say’s. Next week we get ready for the TV company to come out and shoot a documentary, following Nadger, Bob and the Frozen one around. I don’t think they know what they are in for? (The TV Company that is.) Glad Bob’s coming because he owes me about 50 beers, so can’t wait.

I have thought about starting a blog for a while now. I actually bought the domain name a while back and never really got the time to launch it. I aim to have a type of daily diary going with up to date information about whats happening here at the resort. Well it’s Sunday and I don’t go to the resort on Sundays usually. I try and spend some time at home with the family, it’s the only break I get. I also have my parents visiting tomorrow from the UK so I am trying to get everything ready for their arrival.

We have 7 guys at the resort at the moment, dave from the UK, Richard from canada and Mark from the US have all been before, so everything should be ok. Richards one of those French Canadian Geezers and always full of fun. I will get up there tomorrow and see them all. Some twat broke my cars rear window last week so having to rely on Frank at the moment fro transport, taht’s a nightmare, driving with Frank. I don’t know how the guys manage to get to the resort from the airport without shitting in there pants. The guys a maniac.

The chica situation is getting full now and we have justabout all of them here for the month.
Some old ones and some new ones, I will get them updated on the site asap.

Got to get some painting done now, as always Ana is on my back, making me work for a living. Bad weekend all round, Leeds got stuffed, she’s got me working and no wheels to get around with. Such is life.

If all men are created equal, then a small resort in the northwest corner of Isla de Margarita is the template.

Whether you’re a stock trader from London or a truck driver from Surrey, you’re the man at Total Satisfaction’s Margarita Resort.

This all-inclusive adult vacation retreat offers the ultimate Girl Friend Experience (GFE) for those paying the price. There are no hidden costs and in addition to five-star chefs preparing breakfast, lunch or dinner and the 24-hour self-serve bar, a companion is provided 24-hours-a-day.

The weather is a balmy 30-33C every day of the year so there’s no high or low season. It seldom rains and only for a few minutes.

Guests choose from up to 20 girls (or chicas in Spanish) and may change every day or keep the same chica for as many days as your choice and stay entails. The resort boasts 80 per cent of their clients return within a year and many sooner than that.

Chicas provide all the amenities of life and insure your total satisfaction, hence the name.

The guest list is kept to a maximum of 10 clients at a time to provide that intimate setting in a secure compound, minutes from some of the best white-sanded beaches in the world.

Guests are encouraged to travel light with laundry service provided daily. Perusing the web site’s FAQs page reveals a packing list that includes T-shirts, casual shirts, shorts, bathing trunks and one good pair of pants, should you wish to take in the abundant night life or nearby casinos on the island.

Personal products are listed as well with the warning: “Count the number of condoms you think you’ll need and double it. You can always take them home.” Safe sex is practiced here with the chicas medically tested every two weeks with government documents available upon requests.

Available packages contain at least one day on which guests may enjoy two chicas as once and as one recent 60-year-old client stated: “My last day, I had a 22-year-old and an 18-year-old. I never fucked an 18-year-old when I was 18.”

Everything’s legal in Venezuela, so there’s no looking over your shoulder for the law to arrive.

By comparison to TS’s low rates, an (illegal) escort in the UK ranges from $150-$250  an hour and that doesn’t include food, liquor or lodging. Las Vegas escorts charge over  $300 an hour while the famed Chicken Ranch doesn’t even quotes its rates on its web sites, saying the price is negotiable once you select a woman. Again that’s with no food, booze or lodging.

If a client doesn’t wish to partake of any the convenient off-resort offerings, they don’t have to spend another cent. Most clients go home with money in their pockets.

While the resort offers a luxurious pool, billiards table, darts and many other activities, most clients spend time shopping in nearby malls or flea markets, visiting the beaches or taking in jeep safaris, catamaran trips to deserted islands and horseback riding with their chicas. Prefer your own personal tours? A private taxi or van can be hired for a reasonable $15 per hour.

But it’s not only the hot chicas that make memories of Hibiscus unforgettable. Most guests interact with others and make world-wide friends, made more accessible by both Internet and the resort’s own unique Forum web board. It offers both former clients (members) and newbies an opportunity to interact, comment on each other’s testimonials, offer views on various resort-related topics or view photos posted by clients in the members-only section.

The board current boasts 4,000 members, posting 9,500 responses to 850 topics. Clients can keep in touch 24/7 with moderators on board at all times. Board watchers also offer tips on travel to and from the resort, airport security and any other topics one may wish to discuss, even a humour section for the light-hearted who need a good laugh.

Once a client visits the resort, there is an instant bonding with those posting on the board because they all know what it’s like. It’s the same feeling footballers or ex service personel get when they meet other former comrades, even though they may have played on different teams or even in different eras.

Arriving at the resort for the first time is an unbelievable experience. Not only do the chicas but the resort staff go out of their way to make your vacation ideal. Whether it’s currency exchange, travel arrangements, tour bookings, a taxi to the beach or a problem with special food or even the chicas themselves, the staff is there to correct it.

Testimonials almost spend as much time paying homage to the staff as the chicas.

This is truly a Total Satisfaction holiday.