Peace, quite, relaxed, falling asleep actually, yes you guessed it, I am in Costa Rica at last. Sitting here with my 2 thumbed typing skills, all I can here are a few birds singing and Ana snoring. Yup she’s at again, a 6am wake up call isn’t good for her, I thought it was Nora Batty getting in the queue for the check in at Santo Domingo airport this morning. The flights were on time, Diego our trusty driver was waiting for us and 10 minutes later we were at the resort. We have 4 days to get the girls organized and then let battle commence.

Fishing seems to be getting more and more popular, especially here in the Dominican Republic. I suppose being right on the beach helps to stir up the interest of guests and the rods and equipment we have on site is a bonus if you wake up early and fancy an hour on the beach trying to catch a few. All this I can understand, what does surprise me though is that it’s the girls who are showing more interest in this fishing lark than the guys. So beware, if you wake up for a piss at 6am and your chica has disappeared, the odds are that she’s on the beach fishing. Now I am all for this, gone are the days when woman should be kitchen slaves and just here to serve us guys, they do need to get out and enjoy the outdoors. So come on all you fishermen, where else can you have a fishing partner who will do more than bait up your tackle and play with your worms? It’s a toss up here which way to turn, 1 minute east and you can be fishing, 2 minutes west and you are on the golf course, so for people like myself it’s great. Fish in the morning, Golf in the afternoon and drink in the evening. What more can a guy want, except a chica or two, which I am not going to get into, well not in public anyway.

About 3 years ago I was invited to go to New York and do an interview with Howard Stern on live radio. At the time I was unaware how popular this guy was and I also didn’t have time to go to New York. Well we have been invited again to do another live broadcast with him. It would seem that he thinks that we have the same sense of humour. I am not sure how he knows that as we have never met. The initial invite came from a friend and business associate of his who visited us in 2005, this guy was manager to a pop star, I won’t give the name as that’s not what we do here, what I will say is that he was manager to someone who is in the top 10 of records sold in pop history, so quite a player. Anyway, Howard has sent me an invite, I can feel people in the same business shitting in their pants, worrying that I am going to over expose another location, well fuck em, if that’s what we want to do that’s what we will do. Are we here to push forward a business or are we here to fuck around like the rest? The fact is I don’t have time at the moment for Howard but we have him on the back burner, in case we need to use him at a future date. We are fully booked in the Dominican until June we are nearly full for May in Costa Rica so we don’t need the publicity at this time. Nice to know we are wanted though.

We have 9200 members now on the adult vacation forum I am wondering if we are the most popular adult community out their in cyber space? We must be one of the big boys now. I look at some other sites that sell adult vacations and some don’t even have a forum. Others have very little activity and others are just lacking in any information. The spirit we have created on the forum is a credit to the people who visit it and contribute on a regular basis. I think if I was looking to take an adult vacation it would be with Total Satisfaction Adult Holidays, just because of the forum. Everything you need to know is there for you to see and it’s not bullshit from some web master, it’s comments from people who have actually spent time with us. This is the real difference, that other sites don’t seem to be able to offer. I think the guys on the forum are great, I am not always agreeable in what they say, but that’s what happens in open forums and for every 1% that leave a negative comment we have 99% positives, so all in all we are going great guns.

It was my birthday last week. That means only 1 thing. SEX. I am allowed to have sex on my Birthday and at Christmas. Of course this is only with Ana, with anyone else it doesn’t count. So I was getting ready for last weeks big night. A few pints, half a dozen Viagra and away you go sort of thing. So my first objective was to go get the old blue bullets. I went to a pharmacy and said to the pharmacist, “It’s my birthday today and my Wife always let’s me make love to her on my birthday, but as she’s getting a bit wobbly here and there and as I only get to prod her twice a year I think I need something to keep me horny, you know? keep it up all night?.” So the pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label “Viagra Extra Strength” and says, “Here, if you eat this, you’ll go nuts for twelve hours.” 12 hours, fucking hell “Gimme three boxes.”

I thought I would treat the night like a adult tourist at a adult resort and just be nice and kind and patient and loving and treat her to a nice meal, (she pays, it’s my birthday) and then take her home and bang the arse off her, quite simple really. So after being nice and even offering to pay my half of the dinner I slip in to the toilets and swallow 4 of these blue tablets, just for starters. I could feel the fucker coming to attention walking back to the table. I was looking forward to this night.

As we all know simple things don’t always work out, she got so fucking drunk I had to carry her home. Then she pukes up again, a bit like the fishing trip this, spewing everywhere. Then she collapses on the bed and falls asleep. Fucking marvelous. Here I am with a fucking hard on that could make a fucking gorilla choke and she’s snoring. So I had no other choice did I?

The next day I go to the same pharmacy walk up to the pharmacist, pull down my pants and say hey I need something for this, give me a tube of Deep Heat. The pharmacist looked in horror as he noticed my bollocks are black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places. The pharmacist says, “Deep Heat? You’re not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?”

I said, “No, it’s for my arms, the Wife fell asleep so I was up wanking all night.” At least I never rolled out of bed.

I am looking at sticking some pics on here every week of the girls and events at the adult resorts. I was thinking of semi nude pics or nude pics. It would appear that I am allowed to do neither. To keep up with our previous policy of protecting the privacy of the girls I am only allowed to use normal posing pics, so no tits or fannies are allowed. Shame really because I was getting all giddy about taking nude shots on the beach. Just goes to show that I have a miserable git for a wife I suppose. I was looking at her last night and I think she’s she’s adding a few too many pounds for my liking. If I wanted a wife with a fat arse I wouldn’t of divorced the last fucker would I? So I am implementing a diet for her, we’ll be buying lettuce by the fucking ton, I promise you. Eating lettuce may make her more rabbit like in the bedroom, yet knowing my luck it will just give her fucking goofy teeth.

I was on the beach earlier, just a 15 second stroll from here and you are on the beach. I actually went to cool off, I was in one of those ‘I want to kill some fucker’ moods. At times like this I find it better to just go and chill for a few minutes in a quiet place. So I get to the beach and sit on my normal rock and check the surroundings. It’s 8-30am in the morning so still quite early. There’s a guy and his missus fishing, a few other people walking up and down, nice and peaceful. I closed my eyes and thought, life is great. Then I heard it, puffing and panting, getting louder and louder. The sound was so erotic I thought it was coming from our place. It was a sound like 2 pigs going at it, hell for leather. I opened my eyes, and I wasn’t far out with my assumption, it was a very large, very overweight lady who for some reason known only to her was jogging. Or should I say, trying to move her legs whilst making a noise that resembled 2 rabbits fucking each other. Anyone who has heard 2 rabbits fucking will know what I mean. I have never heard such erotic sounds coming from a jogger, I can’t wait for the London Marathon, if that’s what women do when they run.

It’s computer time for me at the moment, 12 hours a day trying to get everything back to normal. All the files and other information I had either got lost or put on hard drives and I am now trying to get everything in some kind of order. The bookings have been a nightmare, we have information on 3 different drives so matching everything up has been a struggle. We now seem to be getting there and the bookings for the DR have taken off like nothing we have seen before. We are now just about fully booked up until the beginning of June and Costa Rica is also starting to fill up nicely. If someone had told me 3 weeks ago to stop worrying and that everything would get back to normal very soon I would of phoned the asylum and told them there was a nutter on the loose. But that’s what has happened, bookings have flooded in and I am over the moon.

Talking of over moon, Leeds United had another scorching victory today. 3-2 against Carlisle, so that’s got the weekend off to a good start. My mate fights tonight for the World title, so if he wins as well then it will be a double celebration. I am just disappointed that I won’t be at the fight. As I say 3 weeks ago, I didn’t have enough cash to buy a hot dog, never mind fly to the US for a fight weekend. Anyway the beers are chilling and hopefully tonight we will be getting lashed and celebrating. I hope so.

I have put some more photos of my recent trip to Costa Rica on the Adult Travel Forum so have a look and see what you think. I personally think that this location will be an absolute winner. If you can’t find something special to do in Costa Rica then you must be a boring git.