After a good chat with Norse I decided to do a bit of upgrading, I didn’t know where to start so I did what I always do, I thought about Ana, a upgrade of her seemed to natural to miss out on. I have done my best with this but feel that not even Norse can assist me any more with this one…

Upgrading to Wife 2.0

(www.upgradeana.com)
I decided to upgrade Ana from Girlfriend 2.0 to Wife 2.0 and found that it’s a fucking memory nightmare leaving very little system resources for other applications. I am now noticing that Wife 2.0 is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the fucking brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 2.0 installs itself such that it is always lauched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. I’m finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, PubNight 7.0, and Porn.com are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 2.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features i’d like to see in the very soon to be released upcoming Wife 3.0. – A “Don’t remind me again” button – Minimize button – An install shield feature that allows Wife 3.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources. – An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful. I then decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid fucking bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn’t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks – all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the disadvantages of upgrading to Wife 2.0

***** BUG WARNING **************** Wife 2.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.7 before uninstalling Wife 2.0, Wife 2.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.7 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *************** To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.7 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 2.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.7 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.

*** UPGRADE VERSION ***************** Although advertised as being Plug’n'Play, installing the Upgrade version of Wife 2.0 results in several of the better features of Girlfriend 2.0 refusing to continue working. The supposed compatibility with Fast-Car 3.6 & Ski Holiday 6.2 is also flawed, and launching these applications results in strange noises and error messages. Wife 2.0 also appears to be totally incompatible with all previous versions of BEST MATE, and some users have reported that continued use of BEST MATE can lead to unwanted sharing of resources and I/O ports unless the System Agent is installed as a background task.

*** SUMMARY ******************************* It appears that Girlfriend 2.0 is still one of the best products on the market, especially just after installation. Though not as much fun as CASUALSHAG 63.8 for the power user, it remains relatively reliable and easy on system resources. The timeout feature of Girlfriend is the major problem, and in severe cases can force the user to upgrade to Wife 2.0 with dire consequences on system health.

I suppose we all have a passion for a blow job, the question is who gives the best one? One things for sure it’s not your wife is it? Anyway, as I have done a lot of travelling I thought I would look through the old black book of mine and try and work out which nation have the best cock suckers. Firstly, let me say that the US are fucking miles off the drift, they are either too fat, too lazy or they have those shiny false teeth that they won’t let anything touch unless it’s covered in spearmint, and mints and dicks don’t go together do they? Thank fuck I don’t live in the States, I think I would end up being a queer. I am led to believe that the Dominicans give good head, I can’t comment from a personal point of view as I have never been there whilst a batchelor. However from a very good source I can reveal that they are not bad. The Venezuelans, now they give nice blow jobs but you have to get your cock in and pray that her phone doesn’t ring, if that fucker rings forget it, she will be on the old blower for so long that your cock will shrink back like a fucking tortoises neck after it’s eaten it’s lettuce. The English, they are decent I suppose, though there habit of not cleaning their teeth can be off putting, as I don’t wash my dick so often it never worried me, but for the hygienic stalwarts out there, it can be distressful. Now the Africans, before they were all riddled with aids, were supposed be good too, must be those fat lips that did it. Imagine trying it now, it would be like blow job roulette, Russian style. When I lived there I only fucked the maid, and her sisters, and cousins, and friends so I don’t have enough experience to comment, but I do know a big white racist Afrikaner who says they are fantastic, much better than his white wife, and sister and daughter. Anyway, back to the discussion, I wonder what those guys in these cults and communes in the US think about this? What about the Mormon’s, now they are all dirty fuckers, I mean who would take a adult vacation if he had 6 wife’s? One for each day of the week, miss out Sunday for the fishing. You can have a wife for fucking, one for blow jobs, one for anal, one for wanking, one for beating up and one to clean the boat and get the rods ready, sound like my type of marriage? I must admit I am not into those sect and cult fuckers, something strange with them. Asia has good blow job credentials, ok the curry and chilli from the pakis can cause a little discomfort, but nothing a few ice cubes can’t sort out. But in my opinion, the best of the best are from Bangkok, especially the boys, they know how to treat a man. I must find that pic of my best man.