It’s that time of the year again where I have to get dressed up and make a twat of myself. The hardest thing this year was choosing my helpers so I decided to use Marianne, I hope you approve. If she’s any good at unwrapping my present and smoking my cigar I may keep her on into January and share her with all the lucky guys who are visiting us in the New Year, except Pete the Fireman, he’s just a greedy bastard, every chica I set my eyes on he fucking wants her, I hope he realises that the customer is not always right in this business?? Anyway back to my new little helper Marianne I have some surprise party tricks in store for her this year, blue pills, pink plastic and crates of beer all come to mind in a flash.

Then again they came to mind last year too  but I think I had a few too many out of the crate and never got to use the pink plastic, though you must agree that the blue pills did help me keep my hat on? As always I never let a bottle slip.

Well me and Perry are mates again, he has given Jennifer the house till she gets sorted so I have forgiven him. What do we think of Tiger Woods then?? The dirty bastard, fancy doing the dirty on his wife like that. I mean I could understand it if she was ugly but fuck me have you seen her? Get your wallet out Tiger this is gonna cost you my friend. Talking of doing the dirty, what about my latest fantasy Erica? Now I can put hand on heart and say I have never had my cock in the payroll, but who would blame me for breaking my duck with Erica? I am speechless, I see a race between me and firefighter Pete to get there first in January. If this is the standard we are setting for 2010 then I see happy days ahead. I am just glad she isn’t called Jennifer, or Ana come to that. I aim to use 1 tit for my ash tray and the other for my beer, not a drop will be spilt I am sure. I will make sure I leave some feed back and let you all drool with envy when you read my report.

January is getting fully booked guys and girls so if you are after a after Christmas break then be sure to check up quickly for your adult vacation or you will be dissapointed. If you fancy the same type of thing somewhere else why not try  travelling to Thailand with my friends at Bachelor Holidays, they guarantee to take care of all our customers, book via us and you will be entitled to a bonus deal. I actually fancy a bit of that myself, I have always liked Thailand. The problem is working out who has bollocks and who hasn’t.