It’s that time of the year again where I have to get dressed up and make a twat of myself. The hardest thing this year was choosing my helpers so I decided to use Marianne, I hope you approve. If she’s any good at unwrapping my present and smoking my cigar I may keep her on into January and share her with all the lucky guys who are visiting us in the New Year, except Pete the Fireman, he’s just a greedy bastard, every chica I set my eyes on he fucking wants her, I hope he realises that the customer is not always right in this business?? Anyway back to my new little helper Marianne I have some surprise party tricks in store for her this year, blue pills, pink plastic and crates of beer all come to mind in a flash.

Then again they came to mind last year too  but I think I had a few too many out of the crate and never got to use the pink plastic, though you must agree that the blue pills did help me keep my hat on? As always I never let a bottle slip.